Posted by: onefromspirit | March 5, 2013

I haven’t been the same since then….

My sweet baby girl is now a tween and guess what, I have never been the same since she was born. And not in a good way. There was a loss of an in utero baby right before my pregnancy with her and the pregnancy with her ended with preeclampsia. Blessed to have her and still be here but a hard way to go. Whenever I think about what is keeping me stuck my intuition leads me right back to that time.

Lately I’ve been drawn to do more journey work. One journey without any explanation my guides transported me to a dimly, cold underground place where I found a part of me that I had lost. She was afraid and didn’t want to come back. I finally persuaded that she join me again and remarkably didn’t think much more about it, well until now which is several months later. I’ve been seriously thinking about soul retrieval or in my way of seeing it, becoming a whole me again.

In my latest journey, I wanted to ask about the process. Could I do it myself or should I seek the help of another shamanic practitioner? As I asked the question, my Eagle guide picked me up and flew into these huge mountains. It was freezing with snow and sleet coming down in buckets. After we flew higher and higher we came to a ledge and there was a cave. The cave was warm inside thanks to a fire. Inside the cave, there were two fragments of me. One very shy and beautiful and one extremely ancient. They also did not want to come with me. It was pretty cozy in the cave and in a weird way quite peaceful. They were both afraid; life had just become too scary. Too many life and death moments that they still freshly remember. Too many times when I had completely ignored my intuition and deferred to other people when I probably knew better. I explained that many years had passed and that even though that was an extremely hard time, good had come from it. We have an amazing young woman in our lives who is just a delight most days and certainly a teacher everyday. It would be worth it to come back. They reluctantly agreed to fly with me.

The Eagle flew to a place where the mountains met the sea and we flew. The sky was so blue and bright it was mesmerizing. I awoke  feeling different, very disoriented, and then remembered the journey. Although I don’t feel complete just yet, I do feel joyous and on the right path.


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